So I finally get myself out of this low mood after finally getting some sleep and actually managing to get some food down me (even though it was just a bowl of cereal) and all because I had plans to meet this guy....
Start getting ready as I just assumed the plan was still on... messaged him to confirm after getting semi-ready... Oh his got a fucking headache!!!
In my head I'm thinking, take a fucking pill and get the fuck over it!!! So I casually said, shall we leave it then? Thinking he'd say "No, no its cool" but he agreed!!!
Well that was it!
My mood almost immediately sunk, I wanted to smah everything up in sight, my anger was so overwhelming that I want to cry and scream at the same time!! Some how I managed to control it... only because I was talking to two other guys on bbm at the time... but it only cooled me down a bit!
Then something strange happened instead of going back to bed which is what I thought I'd do, I just started feeling really promiscious... I put my make-up on, big eye lashes etc then picked out matching underwear that didn't consist of my normal Bridget Jones! Put it all together, then messaged him saying that I'd come over and 'make him feel better'...!!
Well, the arsehole had obviously fallen asleep so...
I took some pictures of myself (which I have NEVER done!) and sent them to my ex...
Now I just want sex! But I don't want it with my ex! Shit, what have I got myself into! Do I wait and see if Mr S wakes up and then go and see him or do I respond to the messages my ex is sending asking to come round!!!
Or I could just go to bed... Yeah Right!!! If nothing at all happens I will be PISSED!
Think I should take the edge off with an alcoholic beverage!! If only I had a spliff!!!
I need followers to advise me....!!
UPDATE!!!! - 4 hours later
Just had sex with someone thats been my friend for 15 years because he messaged me at the right time!
This was just as my ex said he was going to go to sleep instead of acting on all the messages he'd been teasing me with after I'd sent him those pictures!!!
I told him to never contact me again and to go fuck himself!!
On the drive home which ended with me taking half a gram of cocaine (which I've never done before, well to that extent, maybe a couple of lne max!), over half a bottle of vodka and having sex with the guy thats lying in my bed right now!! Shit!!! I promised myself I'd never give in and have sex with this guy after 15 yrs of him trying it on me!!!
LET ME DOWN= ME GOING CRAZY= SEX, DRUGS AND ALCOHOL
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