Why is it so hard to maintain normality?

On good days, you really don't get what all the fuss is about...

Mental health issues? Me? I think there's been a mistake.....

Its not that I'm ever in complete denial about it all, but on days when I feel ok, not high not low, I just think to myself that it seems so easy to maintain that medium, level headed behaviour...

Question: What is it that makes it so hard to maintain normality?

I understand that we, as 'sufferers' have certain triggers that can unbalance and unsettle our mood massively but really these things can be so small in the grand scheme of things that when you feel 'normal' its almost impossible to comprehend why everyday is so different and why the most mundane happenings of life can have such a major impact.

Using the most recent example to highlight this; today I had a conversation with my best friend, updating her on my health and how I'd been coping. I mentioned that the new guy I was seeing had let me down on Sunday, due to a headache and how the affect of that feeling of being 'let down' had lead to my downfall of alcohol, drugs and promiscuity finally ending in a 4 day recovery period from hospital.

As I was explaining the story with my current 'normal' mind state I could see how ridiculous it sounded!! Why had I done that to myself?... He didn't 'let me down', he was ill!... It was out of any one's control and nobodies fault!... Pressing the self destruct button hurts no one but myself! ... It achieves nothing!!


However... being 'bad' feels so 'good'...


Not 'good', as in a typical 'good feeling', more a feeling of 'comfort' or 'release' of bad feelings.

Anyone that self-harms, whether it be by cutting yourself, punching yourself, or hurting yourself physically in someway, by taking unsafe amounts of medication, drugs and alcohol, or mentally torturing yourself;

Every cut, every punch, every sip, every pull, every sniff, every bit of pain you bring on yourself feels like a release of emotions, a rush of adrenalin...

And that is why we go back... because anything that gives you a 'high' is a form of addiction... 


Answer: It is the addiction that we must fight!!